The Adventure of Ant-Man
by My Dear Frodo
Summary: A cheesy story of Ant-Man, a superhero who is going to be added to the Avengers. This is just a random story about Ant-Man stopping a random villain. One-shot.


Gerrod and I stepped into the office to discuss the final plan. I sat down in my chair, and stuck my legs out under my desk, only to find that I couldn't. I rolled back, staring at the figure hunched up beneath my desk.

"What the macho secretary? Who are you?" I exclaimed, changing my voice from relatively high-pitched and squeaky to gruff and intimidating. Being a 'bad guy' wouldn't work very well if my voice was squeaky, or so my grandmother taught me.

"I am Ant-Man," he replied, hands on his hips, looking into the distance.

"Is that supposed to scare us?" Gerrod enquired, after snorting.

"I am here to stop your evil plans, Wensley and Gerrod," Ant-Man said. I chuckled.

"How you going to do that? Where'd you even come up with Ant-Man eh? It ain't the most menacing thing I've ever heard," I reached into my back pocket and grabbed the ant repellant spray I always kept. Don't judge.

"Hey! Ant-Man's totally menacing!" He whined. "Ants are terrifying to a lot of people. Anyhow, I'm going to stop you with my awesome power of summoning insects!" He pressed a button on his head, and ants came crawling from every crack in the room. I laughed maniacally.

"I bet you weren't expecting me to carry ant repellant in my back pocket! Ha! Die ants! DIE!" I screamed, my voice going back to normal as I sprayed the fumes in to the air. The two others looked at me like I was insane. "What? Oh, you think it's weird that I carry ant repellant in my jeans. He's claiming to be a random dude named Ant-Man, and yet, you both judge me because I carry a weapon in my back pocket."

"This is getting weird," Gerrod mumbled. "Count me out. I'll be going now." He walked out of the room.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Wensley," Ant-Man sneered. But a few seconds later, the corners of his mouth began to droop, and he look sad. He looked up at me, then looked at the aerosol can in my hand. Again, his expression changed, only this time, to anger.

"You killed my friends," he said quietly, but his voiced changed as he realized what had happened. "You monster! You murderer! You killed my friends!" He went into what I assumed was his rage mode, and shrunk down to the size of an insect. He used his helmet again, only this time to summon cockroaches. They scrambled up my clothes, and then stopped, apparently waiting for Ant-Man's signal. The now tiny man catapulted himself, and landed straight onto my nose.

"Ant-Man, please, I hate cockroaches!" I whimpered. The pint-sized pugilist still stood expressionless on the tip of my nose.

"Wensley. You murdered three-hundred ants today. You think that I could just let you go? You also have an evil plan in progress, don't you?" He spoke, and I whimpered again. I shook my leg, but the roaches were relentless.

"I'm sorry I hurt all of those ants! I didn't really think about the fact that they had lives," I said. I thought for a second. Just one second. And in that second, I realized that I was a criminal. And I shouldn't be backing down to any tiny man. I backed up to the wall, pressing the button that I had for emergencies. The air was suddenly filled with cockroach repellant. I know, I know. I'm a bet entomophobic. The cockroaches all dropped dead, and Ant-Man stared at me in disbelief.

"You're sick, Wensley," he spat. I reached up, now cockroach free, and grabbed the little man.

"Ant-Man. I'm an evil mastermind. I am sick," I laughed maniacally once again.

"Mastermind? You are not a mastermind," he replied. I threw him across the room, and he grew bigger once again. He approached me slowly, but I ignored him, walking forward. I glared.

"Give it up, Ant-Man. You know I've won. All I need to do now, to complete my plan, is destroy the Andenuopmonatilgotilite. It might take a couple hours, but I have time to spare. It's not like you can stop me," I hissed. Ant-Man laughed.

"You think I'm a weakling, don't you, Wensley. You think I'm an idiot. I'm not. SHIELD just recruited me," he stated. I gasped.

"SHIELD?" I asked, eyes going wide.

"SHIELD."

"Hm, never heard of them," I replied. Of course I had, but I wanted to make it sound like they weren't that important. I continued walking, but suddenly, I found myself falling. He tripped me! I face planted, and rolled myself over to see Ant-Man looming over me.

"Wow, that was easier than I expected!" He smiled. I raised my eyebrows.

"Easy? I killed so many insects before you could stop me!" I exclaimed. He shook his head at me.

"Wensley, you're an idiot. They were fake. Robots. Don't look so surprised. I was acting. I made you think that you were oh so high and mighty, and gave you confidence. A false sense of security. I also got rid of your partner, who was truly the brains behind your scheme. He's waiting in a van going to a group of holding cells outside. By the way, your plan was never going to work. Honestly, this was so easy. Almost too easy," he paused, but shook his head. "Nope, you're just an idiot. Well, Wensley, it was nice to defeat you. Next time, try to make it a challenge," he called back to me as he exited the room. I was immediately surrounded by a bunch of guys in uniforms. They were taking me to a holding cell so that I could be judged, and then later, to prison. Little did they know, that was exactly what I wanted.

Well, not really, but give me a break. I've had a tough day.


End file.
